Tai Chi is for me!

Conversation with Fathers of the Faith

2009-03-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

Great DVD series that Dave Buehring has put together.

http://www.fathersofthefaith.com

Shutters & Triggers Podcast

2008-02-27T23:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a nice Flash player interface that plays our episodes of the podcast as it comes out.

Go to www.shutterstriggers.com if it doesn't work... but it should!
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It's official...

2007-12-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I am officailly unemployed from MCC now (as of November 30).

I have mixed emotions about the whole thing since I really enjoyed working there for the past 7 years. I know I made a positive difference in what teachers' used for educational technology. It was great to be able to take on challenges of adding new tools that could be used in the classrooms and train teachers on their use.

Life's changes are pretty rough sometimes, and while I'll always miss my family at MCC, I realize that other aspects of that place were not for me. Moving on is the best solution right now...

So, I am back in the production community to some extent, and getting in more and more as each day goes by. I'm realizing some of my dreams are to tell the stories of my heart and find others to inspire into finding their purpose in life. The medium of film and video is the best way I have found to do this, and of course it is the one I am most familiar with.

Changes are happening and I'll have to devote a full followup blog entry to what cool things are going on in the many projects I'm working on right now.

Goodbye MCC.... I'll miss you...

Nothing to do... :-)

2007-11-29T00:43:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am with nothing to do but read, watch DVDs and write. Ain't it great to be healing!

A sample Haiku for those following my healing progress:

Belly torn to shreds
Stitches makes me whole again
I grab the remote

Well, now you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Nina has been great at pampering me, but I must start soon to get around and do things... like find a new job!

More later...

Note from Monday I posted on Facebook...

2007-11-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

This was a note I posted on Facebook this past Monday...

Friends and family,

Some have asked about my minor hernia surgery tomorrow 11/20/07. I found out from a call to the hospital a couple hours ago that my operation is due to start at 7:30am tomorrow, so we are going to Park-Ridge at 6 o’clock in the morning!

They say I will be in surgery for only 1.5 hours and then recovery is about an hour. I can’t believe that I will be home by noon, but it looks that way. It really seems like quite a routine operation these days, but I welcome your prayers and thoughts as I am in surgery, so please share this tonight with others if you want. If you want to, a phone call or email when I am home for 2 weeks recovering would be nice as well if you’re not too busy. Please pray for Nina too, since I will become an even bigger burden on her, I’m sure, as I heal. :-)

I actually figured out a way to have my PC monitor accessible with cables and using a wireless keyboard and mouse I might be online from time to time. Mostly, though, I’ll be resting and reading and watching DVDs. I hope I don’t go stir crazy as I am told by some of you who’ve had this surgery in the past that it is very important to lay still and heal properly.

Thanks for your concerns and I hope to see you on the other side of all this….

Blessings,
-Paul

Clean clean clean...

2007-11-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

So except for writing this blog entry, I've been cleaning my home in preparation for Thanksgiving Day and for the fact that I'll be laid up for about 2 weeks because of surgery.

It's strange to have to be careful in lifting heavy objects (due to the hernia I have and will be operated for) so as not to damage anything further. However, the house is a mess, and I need to prepare of good living space for my recovery.

I'm reminded of a dear friend who went through SO much more than I will be with her son's kidney operation over this past summer. She was skilled at endearing herself to others and endorsing the help of others to the extent of making David's operation successful. She held spaghetti dinners for fundraising, an event with performing bands, little donation cups around MCC where we both worked, and even won second place at a local Touch-a-thon for a car helping out kidney disease. This past year has been one of great struggle and great success for her and her son and sister (her sister donated the kidney to her son).

So, remembering all they went through should make this 2 week inconvenience a breeze, right? Well, in some senses it will be, but I am still concerned about going under the knife. What also doesn't help is that I am still looking for a new full-time job, and my arrangement with my previous employer runs out in the middle of my recovery time.

I thought I would be re-employed by now... :-( I suppose I ought to just pray that all goes well with the surgery, and take things one step at a time...

3D animation is all over the place!

2007-11-14T08:40:00.000-08:00

So, I've been working freelance on this cool racing car type animation. It's actually a company called Forced Dynamics through a long time friend of mine who is designing their marketing campaign. He is bring their product to a new level and suggesting they put it in amusement parks and casinos. I also suggested putting it in existing speedways (like Spencer Speedway near here)... he is considering it.

What is different that Chris is suggesting is that the ride be linked to many others of its same kind in a multi-player system all in the same paddock or room. I also suggested that they could run the system multi-player mode with other parks having a player in Disneyland and a player in Darien Lake and other players at Busch Gardens and other Six Flags outlets all playing each other live at once.

These machines are not cheap, but the animation we made should help conceptualize the idea of the multi-player option from within the same room idea.

Here is a link to the animation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07fcdMxREzc

C'est la vie...

2007-11-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

So, I found out I have a structure in my umbilicus area that has either collapsed due to a rip in my muscles around it or is congenitally weak. Not sure why the doctor doesn't need to find out which since he wants to do surgery in about a week.

Bummer, as I am trying to find a new job and having a 2-week span where I have to stay bed-ridden isn't the greatest timing right now. If this had happened a few weeks ago it would have been better for the job hunt.

Well, I am confirming all things tomorrow with the doctor's office, and most likely then I will be eating Thanksgiving turkey from my bed with my wife and bedside support. My family is due to come over that evening (even out of town family), so I suppose I'll have to have visits from them to the room to say hello briefly.

If I waited until after T-day (which was an option offered to me) then I'd have to tell any prospective employer that my start date would have to be delayed that much more. As a good college friend of mine used to say, "C'est la vie"... and now I go to sleep...

Labyrinth

2007-11-08T03:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! Last T'ai Chi class we got to use the labyrinth!

It is very cool and it printed on the floor where we do T'ai Chi. We've all been curious about it for weeks. Even when we start a class we organically have been lining up our mats with the outer ring of the labyrinth circle facing each other.

Funny thing is, that is takes about 10 minutes to walk it. It doesn't seem like it would take that long, but I checked. During that time you are concentrating on not thinking about anything - letting your mind go, so to speak, and it's very refreshing. Because of the nature of the labyrinth being a single narrow path to the inside of the thing, when you get there you come back out and invariably meet up with others who are 'going into' the center. So, a little but of interruption occurs as you or the other person steps aside to allow both to continue. It wasn't too distracting, but I'd like to walk the labyrinth alone someday.

Spooky!

2007-10-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

So, if you guessed the Scooby-Doo gang you were right! And how appropriate for Halloween.

Anyways, tonight we had some pretty spooky visitors to our home. I has a stuffed cat at the door welcoming people and I was dangling a funky scarecrow on a stick bobbing up and down as I flickered the outside lights on and off repeatedly to attract people to the house. It started out with the young ones at 6pm and peaked around 8pm with ghosts, Star Wars characters, Zombies, witches... and then around 9:25pm when we thought it was all over for a while... two girls came to the door dressed rather seductively. When I asked what they were dressed as, the one girl started to say, "Hoo..." but stopped suddenly when her friend gave her a look. Then they took some candy and ran away.

So, it was a very spooky night with spooky visitors.

Oh, and by the way... Shaggy does get together with Velma. I know this because I have a friend on Facebook who looks like Velma Dinkley and come to think of it her new husband looks a little like Norville "Shaggy" Rogers. Hey, he's actually taking this T'ai Chi class with me!!!

Well, if you didn't guess the Mystery Machine gang, that's okay... it's still Halloween!!!!

Bonus questions: What was the Mystery Machine's license plate number and when was the only time it was ever shown?

Men in Tea...

2007-10-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

My wife is watching a TV show called "Men in Trees" right now. I like watching her when she is doing something she likes. Whether it's knitting or playing with our cats or watching her TV shows... I get to enjoy her pleasure overflowing....

(sigh)

Actually, right now all I can see is the top of her head as she is sitting on the couch facing away from me. Maybe I'll go sit next to her in a moment... and maybe she'll want some tea. She likes tea. I could make her some...

...okay... it's heating up. Wonder if she'll notice the sounds of the kettle?

It's ready... and I just presented it to her... and she likes it!!! :-D

Norville, Fred, Daphne, Velma and Scoobert... and taking the red pill...

2007-10-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten last time I was going to give you this final clue. Come on! You must know who these guys are with the past hints and especially this one?

Well, here are their proper names:

Norville Rogers
Fred Jones
Daphne Blake
Velma Dinkley
Scoobert Doo

Send me your answer as to what famous "team" these folks were on and include their nicknames.

Now on to writing about something with substance... I am not my sin.

What do I mean by that? If you are a Christ follower, you already know what this means. I am struggling with finding the real ME that God sees me for outside of the sin that I heaped upon my self over the years in an effort to connect with something other than God. Since He knows me as his child (as he does you, dear reader) He can connect with me and wash me clean of the false connections I established if I simply ask for His forgiveness, repenting and walking clean from this point onward.

It's all mysterious to a non-believer, and maybe sounds too simple, but I encourage you to look into it if you feel you have messed up your life or at least are feeling you are headed in the wrong direction but unsure of what to do about it. I won't quote scripture about it, not because I haven't found plenty of references about this process, but because if you are just learning about Christ's role in your life, me quoting scriptural references would be more of a turn off at this point.

I will say that I am surprised at just how rich and fulfilling the bible really is and how God's Word really is everlasting and healing. It's almost like taking the red pill in the Matrix... things finally make sense after all... and as scary as it first seems to think existence is something not like what it seems, it eventually is comforting to know that purpose, direction, justice and peace is all governed by one ultimate truth...

God's love.

Success and Alpacas...

2007-10-20T04:41:00.000-07:00

Success:
Wow! I can see a huge difference now in my weight loss. Between going to the gym 4 or 5 times a week (alternating weight lifting with cardio), and doing Tai Chi class, and eating better, I can see that 30 pounds have gone away over the past months. My doctor visit this past week had me beaming.

Alpacas:
Oh my God! These Alpacas are so cute and friendly. They also make great fiber for knitting and could be a business for me and my wife in the near future. We visited an Alpaca farm in Brockport a few days ago and learned a lot about the animals. They are a camelid and they do not smell bad (they poop in the same place - even multiple animals use the same place). A 'fiber' male can go for about $700, but if you want to get into the breeding then you pay upwards of $15,000 for one! It is important to keep them company with other Alpacas since they are herding animals. See our photos at this link: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2029415&l=0a005&id=70605834

I hope to write more regularly since this blog is supposed to be DAILY and this past entry was a week ago. :-( So, expect to hear more from me.

Casey, Frank, Stefanianna, Nicole and Don...

2007-10-13T03:57:00.000-07:00

This is your next hint for who these names represent... any ideas yet? OK, one more hint next time should do it if you haven't gotten it thus far.

Now, marching is great fun! I was involved with the Brighton Homecoming Parade last night and it brought back some nice memories. Years ago in my youth my dad and I marched in the Brighton Fire Department Band. Last night was reminiscent of this since my dad was playing his clarinet on a flatbed with the Canal Town Stompers group and I happened to be lined up right behind them in the parade order with the Brighton Alumni Association holding one of our 2 large identification signs. I think I overdid the marching since I was strutting around and dancing and waving the sign to the ongoing cheers of "Alumni Association - yay!" and a few photographers from the papers shot my picture. I have to look for these this morning.

The most enjoyable part was being in a short parade again with my dad. He is still spry at age 77 and though he technically didn't 'march' since he and his fellow bandsters were on a flatbed truck travelling the parade route, his energy and enthusiasm was in it all the way. It brought a smile to hear him playing his 'licorice stick' to such classic jazzy tunes as "Sweet Georgia Brown" and in a flurry of notes that peak every so often with a high pitch sustained tone, I could recall many concerts and parades he would play nearly 25-30 years ago.

Boy was it cold out too! We waited around for a long time and the sun was almost setting by the time the first participants left the parking lot for the streets. It was a short parade just consisting of short distances down three main streets in Brighton, but that was enough to feel the bite of the wind when it picked up. Holding a big sail (the sign) didn't help with the wind either, so I am glad I was lost in the moment of the excitement to take my mind off of those things. My arms are tired this morning!

Hope to do it again next year!

Rogers, Jones, Blake, Dinkley and Doo

2007-10-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

What do these names have in common?

Noooo, it's not a kooky law firm. Guess again?

Maybe next time I'll give you another hint...

Anyway, today is short in writing and I'd like to reflect on this quote:

"Close every avenue the enemy might have to affect your soul; develop and nurture a thankful spirit; and learn to be a giver instead of a taker. These spiritual exercises will transform the way you see other people; you will begin to see them through the eyes of the One who laid down His life for both you and them."

Ooooo, good thinking.... and good night! It's thunder-storming!

Peace... go fish...

2007-10-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am ill again. However, with my head stuffed up and the fact that I am tired, I find myself at peace. No racing thoughts... no worries... no problems.

I finished cleaning out my old office earlier today. It's a job I will miss terribly as I was very good at what I did, and I know I contributed my talents to help the school succeed. I also helped a lot of students through Campus Crusade for Christ club while I was there. It's funny how God shows us ourselves.

I hope my wife stays with me through this. I've put her through a lot, but funny that this recent thing was not what it seemed... and how that doesn't matter. It's funny how God shows us ourselves.

I'm tired yet I also cannot sleep so I'm up writing in this blog... runny nose and all. I wonder where Nina put the Sudafed? Well, did I mentioned that it's funny how God shows us ourselves?

Oh! I went to a cool exercise class with Topher and Johanna Tuesday morning. It's taught at the Village Gate, and is very fun, but I probably can't afford it but once a week.

Tai Chi class is later!

G'night...

Peeved, perturbed, and pissed...

2007-10-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

What could have happened to these kids?
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30534144&id=70605834&l=095da

Life, circumstances, choices, addictions, sin, turmoil, abuse, and the like all have taken these cute innocent kids and made them what they are today.

I'm just grieving my past.

G'night.

Time to get out of Smallville and the Five Elements of Tao...

2007-09-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

So, I was sent to this place from afar and was planted here to be with a nice family. The place I was adopted from, the schools I went to, the job I have - all within a few moments walking distance.

I am in Smallville and hadn't even thought of it that way until now.

I thought I'd seen the world having travelled when I was a kid to such places as Europe, England, Hawaii and Barbados to name a few. However, I have been in the same place for so long that I forgot I am only a visitor. Time to finally settle down and become a resident... or get out of Smallville.

Exploring the 5 Elements this week in Tai Chi class had me expanding my internal universe! I found out I am mostly WATER and also predominantly FIRE. This should come as no surprise to those who know me. I won't be boring with the details of how the elements intertwine, but suffice to say that there is a whole scheme of balance (Yin and Yang) within each element relating to body parts and among them all.

We also learned about vocalizations to make with interesting poses for energy flow. It was silly and cool at the same time! :-D They use this theory in acupuncture which I know works since my wife had some to relieve some pain years ago... though maybe it didn't work because I am still around!

My cats... an insight to serenity...

2007-09-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

I have been studying and watching my cats closely the past few days. They seem to let very little bother them. Even when they get into their early evening run-around-the-house routine or short tussle with each other, I find them moments later just swaying their tails and looking around the room peacefully.

Now, Caillou is napping at my feet! I don't know where Fergus is, but probably staring at birds out the screen door... or about to make a "sock-kill" and then make that god awful howling sound for approval of his deed. We have many dead knotted socks laying around the house.

They find their 'spots' to hang out and sleep or play or fidget... pretty much the normal 'cat' stuff to do. I think it would be great to adopt the composure of a cat. I am learning much by watching them.

-Meow-

Now what...

2007-09-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

Life begins again? What happens now? Not sure... should be interesting. More to come...

Responsibility...

2007-09-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

The Tai Chi class has me thinking about the nature of spirituality. We talked about Yin and Yang at the last class, and we have an article to read about it. This movement of energy idea is interesting. Coming from a Christian background it is interesting to note that it is all about the movement of energy in the physical world even though in class we talk about the spiritual... what I mean to say is that this Yin and Yang seems to be all about transfer and balance WITHIN the confines of the physical world.

I believe we are so much more than the physical...

...and I'll bet that so do you, dear reader... you at least sense that it is true and it either scares you or comforts you.

For instance, when it comes to the energy that is moved from God to humans, it comes through the free will He has given us. I believe that in the sense that we have a responsibility for the choices we make that are "counter" to the will of God. Everything that God chooses for us that we are in congruency with, we don't have to take responsibility for... we just have to revel in it and enjoy. So, it is only when we go up against God and make choices that are counter to His love that we have to take responsibility for them because God does not take responsibility for those things.

We don't lose our free will... it is just the idea that 'sin' cannot touch Him.

When we lay down our will, or at least align it with God's will, freely, we end up enjoying the free flowing energy and love that God is. This Yin and Yang flows between creator and created. Life is better... not to say bad things won't happen to good people... others still have their free will. However, coping with the seeming chaos becomes tolerable and understandable. A bigger picture is seen.

Amazingly, God also provides to us all an answer for when we choose incongruent to his will in grace and mercy through His son, Jesus. God even figured out a way to keep his 'loves' safe from the sting of our own poor choices by putting those sins upon his son's shoulders and sacrificing him for our redemption. We only have to choose to believe in this truth for it to enter our lives and become real.

How can that have been a story thought up by humans and some body of elitists to control a society like I've been hearing some talk about?

It's good to find out what I really do believe in... why do I have to doubt this sometimes?

Live, love, and be well with your maker...

Romans 6:1 - For what shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so
that grace may increase? By no means, we died to sin! How can we live
in it any longer?

In the beginning...

2007-09-23T07:06:00.000-07:00

My sister is home for the weekend celebrating her 20th High School reunion from Aquinas Institute high school. My dad is celebrating his 60th High School reunion the same weekend from Aquinas as well. Suffice to say this weekend is bringing back a lot of reminiscing and talk of beginnings.

Among the conversations at the lunch and dinner yesterday that led to opening up about the past for Anne Marie and my dad, this morning my dad and spoke about me and my beginnings. He talked about my adoption from his eyes. He told me the story of how when my mom and he came to pick me up from the adoption agency at 111 Westfall Road, I simply took hold of them, one in each hand, and walked out with them (I was 1.5 years old) as if to say, "I choose YOU" as my parents. He said I had these cute bells on the shoes I wore that jangled as a took each step.

I vaguely recall him telling me this story a long time ago, but he has always remembered it and I'm glad he shared and reminded me of it right now. He has no idea how that memory of his has helped me in these recent struggles of the past couple days. I don't even want to share with him what is going on right now since he is so proud of all my accomplishments.

...the end (for now)

Find the center...

2007-09-22T18:00:00.001-07:00

My life is spinning around.... the best place to be when your life is spinning is at the center. You gain perspective and insight without being thrown around. Jesus Christ is at the center of my life, and He is showing me some amazing things right now.... things that I know I am resistant to yet I am more open to because I know He is in control.

I rest in His comfort... scared as hell... but at peace nonetheless...

Prayers and blessings welcomed for this dark time...

Friends and peace..

2007-09-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

In the past few days I made a new friend.. and maybe lost the friend too. I say this because we had some things in common and talked about them a lot. but maybe those connections were too common too quickly.

We are n break from Tai Chi class right now so I thought I would write about how I feel at peace about this even though it was stressful earlier today.

Not sure what the outcome will be, but hope everyone is happy...

Back to class...

Sick and tired... literally...

2007-09-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

I stayed home from work today due to illness. When I'm under-the-weather I get nostalgic and reflective. I guess it is because there are things in my life I feel I am supposed to be doing, but have no time for because of work and responsibilities.

I have many scripts and films I want to produce. Efforts in storytelling that need to come forth from me before I move off this world... subjects ranging from the serious to the fantasy include:

My life as an adopted child
My experience with epilepsy and blindness in one eye and how the world treats those with learning disabilities
The painful process of my ex-girlfriend, Erin, aborting our child and false accusations within the legal system
How Scientology can influence the mind to false beliefs
God's promises revealed through prayer and communion with people
Short film version of "Illusions"
3D animated "Mouse and Snakes" short

These are just a few...

So, after sleeping 16 hours and watching "Jurassic Park" I accomplished nothing on even a day that could have presented some opportunities.

Life goes on...

Blessings and to those reading... hold on to your dreams... and find a way to share them.

Journalling is difficult...

2007-09-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was supposed to be my second class in Tai Chi and I found myself having to skip is (only 1 skip allowed for the course) because of work-related issues. Because of that I need to find out frm a firend what we covered since the syllabus said something about 'breathing techniques' ad I could used that knowledge today.

My days are spent running around supporting classroom technology that is either always breaking or helping teachers who haven't yet learned how to operate the equipment. I haven't figured out a good way to be disciplined about journalling except when I gasp and realize I haven't done it in a couple days.

So, my whole rant today is about not remembering to rant (or journal) and how I hope that is becomes easier to discipline myself to do it over time. I sure could have used those breathing techniques... well, moving forward I'll try to find something serene and peaceful to gab about, but this is reality right now.

Enjoy!

Frenetic...

2007-09-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

Today what such a hectic busy day! So many things to do, and do right. So many things to see and say and lift and pull and serve and deliver and pick-up and eat and smile and help and dote and talk and take and smell and see....

So many things to do today....

Time for sleep....

ZZZZzzzzz......

Thunderstorms!

2007-09-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

There be storms a brewin'!

So, not much writing tonight as there are thunderstorms and lightning. I like it as long as I don't get struck. The air always has that electrical charge after one of these. I probably will be asleep when the storm has passed, though.

Time to shut off the power on the PC!

G'Night!

What to say... um, um, um, um, um, blah!

2007-09-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

Hello bloggers!

I'm starting this blog as part of a requirement for a Tai Chi class I'm taking at school. The teacher wants us all to journal about inspirational, motivational, life-giving moments from our day... every day... so, she said some people write on paper and others have found success in blogging. I'll be more "green" and use the PC since it's more accessible anyways and I never have a scrap paper around when I am "inspired", but since I'm on the PC so much chances are the inspirational moments will coincide with those web surfing moments.

I guess I should start my first Tai Chi entry instead of procrastinating:

Day #1:
I am moved by the wonderful way God works in my life to keep me physically healthy. What I notice is that when I pay mindful attention to my "bodyspace", I experience a connectedness to healing. I guess it sounds mystical to say it that way, and saying things in a mystical way can be consuming, so I'll put it in a more direct manner hopefully without taking away the awe that comes from it. When I sense where my own body ends and the world begins, I realize that I am not encased in flesh and shut off from the universe, but that I am PART of the universe. This awareness tends to occur more when I am dancing or doing Tai Chi (what I noticed in the first class), and I sense it less when I am just walking around. A goal would be to sense that ever-present connection all the time. Wow, I'd like to be able to sense it when I am in a lucid dream too... that'd be wild! Hmmm, okay, so that wasn't much less mystical after all, I guess.

See you tomorrow...