Time to get out of Smallville and the Five Elements of Tao...

So, I was sent to this place from afar and was planted here to be with a nice family. The place I was adopted from, the schools I went to, the job I have - all within a few moments walking distance.

I am in Smallville and hadn't even thought of it that way until now.

I thought I'd seen the world having travelled when I was a kid to such places as Europe, England, Hawaii and Barbados to name a few. However, I have been in the same place for so long that I forgot I am only a visitor. Time to finally settle down and become a resident... or get out of Smallville.

Exploring the 5 Elements this week in Tai Chi class had me expanding my internal universe! I found out I am mostly WATER and also predominantly FIRE. This should come as no surprise to those who know me. I won't be boring with the details of how the elements intertwine, but suffice to say that there is a whole scheme of balance (Yin and Yang) within each element relating to body parts and among them all.

We also learned about vocalizations to make with interesting poses for energy flow. It was silly and cool at the same time! :-D They use this theory in acupuncture which I know works since my wife had some to relieve some pain years ago... though maybe it didn't work because I am still around!

My cats... an insight to serenity...

I have been studying and watching my cats closely the past few days. They seem to let very little bother them. Even when they get into their early evening run-around-the-house routine or short tussle with each other, I find them moments later just swaying their tails and looking around the room peacefully.

Now, Caillou is napping at my feet! I don't know where Fergus is, but probably staring at birds out the screen door... or about to make a "sock-kill" and then make that god awful howling sound for approval of his deed. We have many dead knotted socks laying around the house.

They find their 'spots' to hang out and sleep or play or fidget... pretty much the normal 'cat' stuff to do. I think it would be great to adopt the composure of a cat. I am learning much by watching them.

-Meow-

Now what...

Life begins again? What happens now? Not sure... should be interesting. More to come...

Responsibility...

The Tai Chi class has me thinking about the nature of spirituality. We talked about Yin and Yang at the last class, and we have an article to read about it. This movement of energy idea is interesting. Coming from a Christian background it is interesting to note that it is all about the movement of energy in the physical world even though in class we talk about the spiritual... what I mean to say is that this Yin and Yang seems to be all about transfer and balance WITHIN the confines of the physical world.

I believe we are so much more than the physical...

...and I'll bet that so do you, dear reader... you at least sense that it is true and it either scares you or comforts you.

For instance, when it comes to the energy that is moved from God to humans, it comes through the free will He has given us. I believe that in the sense that we have a responsibility for the choices we make that are "counter" to the will of God. Everything that God chooses for us that we are in congruency with, we don't have to take responsibility for... we just have to revel in it and enjoy. So, it is only when we go up against God and make choices that are counter to His love that we have to take responsibility for them because God does not take responsibility for those things.

We don't lose our free will... it is just the idea that 'sin' cannot touch Him.

When we lay down our will, or at least align it with God's will, freely, we end up enjoying the free flowing energy and love that God is. This Yin and Yang flows between creator and created. Life is better... not to say bad things won't happen to good people... others still have their free will. However, coping with the seeming chaos becomes tolerable and understandable. A bigger picture is seen.

Amazingly, God also provides to us all an answer for when we choose incongruent to his will in grace and mercy through His son, Jesus. God even figured out a way to keep his 'loves' safe from the sting of our own poor choices by putting those sins upon his son's shoulders and sacrificing him for our redemption. We only have to choose to believe in this truth for it to enter our lives and become real.

How can that have been a story thought up by humans and some body of elitists to control a society like I've been hearing some talk about?

It's good to find out what I really do believe in... why do I have to doubt this sometimes?

Live, love, and be well with your maker...


Romans 6:1 - For what shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so
that grace may increase? By no means, we died to sin! How can we live
in it any longer?

In the beginning...

My sister is home for the weekend celebrating her 20th High School reunion from Aquinas Institute high school. My dad is celebrating his 60th High School reunion the same weekend from Aquinas as well. Suffice to say this weekend is bringing back a lot of reminiscing and talk of beginnings.

Among the conversations at the lunch and dinner yesterday that led to opening up about the past for Anne Marie and my dad, this morning my dad and spoke about me and my beginnings. He talked about my adoption from his eyes. He told me the story of how when my mom and he came to pick me up from the adoption agency at 111 Westfall Road, I simply took hold of them, one in each hand, and walked out with them (I was 1.5 years old) as if to say, "I choose YOU" as my parents. He said I had these cute bells on the shoes I wore that jangled as a took each step.

I vaguely recall him telling me this story a long time ago, but he has always remembered it and I'm glad he shared and reminded me of it right now. He has no idea how that memory of his has helped me in these recent struggles of the past couple days. I don't even want to share with him what is going on right now since he is so proud of all my accomplishments.

...the end (for now)

Find the center...

My life is spinning around.... the best place to be when your life is spinning is at the center. You gain perspective and insight without being thrown around. Jesus Christ is at the center of my life, and He is showing me some amazing things right now.... things that I know I am resistant to yet I am more open to because I know He is in control.

I rest in His comfort... scared as hell... but at peace nonetheless...

Prayers and blessings welcomed for this dark time...

Friends and peace..

In the past few days I made a new friend.. and maybe lost the friend too. I say this because we had some things in common and talked about them a lot. but maybe those connections were too common too quickly.

We are n break from Tai Chi class right now so I thought I would write about how I feel at peace about this even though it was stressful earlier today.

Not sure what the outcome will be, but hope everyone is happy...

Back to class...

Sick and tired... literally...

I stayed home from work today due to illness. When I'm under-the-weather I get nostalgic and reflective. I guess it is because there are things in my life I feel I am supposed to be doing, but have no time for because of work and responsibilities.

I have many scripts and films I want to produce. Efforts in storytelling that need to come forth from me before I move off this world... subjects ranging from the serious to the fantasy include:

• My life as an adopted child
• My experience with epilepsy and blindness in one eye and how the world treats those with learning disabilities
• The painful process of my ex-girlfriend, Erin, aborting our child and false accusations within the legal system
• How Scientology can influence the mind to false beliefs
• God's promises revealed through prayer and communion with people
• Short film version of "Illusions"
• 3D animated "Mouse and Snakes" short

These are just a few...

So, after sleeping 16 hours and watching "Jurassic Park" I accomplished nothing on even a day that could have presented some opportunities.

Life goes on...

Blessings and to those reading... hold on to your dreams... and find a way to share them.

Journalling is difficult...

Yesterday was supposed to be my second class in Tai Chi and I found myself having to skip is (only 1 skip allowed for the course) because of work-related issues. Because of that I need to find out frm a firend what we covered since the syllabus said something about 'breathing techniques' ad I could used that knowledge today.

My days are spent running around supporting classroom technology that is either always breaking or helping teachers who haven't yet learned how to operate the equipment. I haven't figured out a good way to be disciplined about journalling except when I gasp and realize I haven't done it in a couple days.

So, my whole rant today is about not remembering to rant (or journal) and how I hope that is becomes easier to discipline myself to do it over time. I sure could have used those breathing techniques... well, moving forward I'll try to find something serene and peaceful to gab about, but this is reality right now.

Enjoy!

Frenetic...

Today what such a hectic busy day! So many things to do, and do right. So many things to see and say and lift and pull and serve and deliver and pick-up and eat and smile and help and dote and talk and take and smell and see....

So many things to do today....

Time for sleep....

ZZZZzzzzz......

Thunderstorms!

There be storms a brewin'!

So, not much writing tonight as there are thunderstorms and lightning. I like it as long as I don't get struck. The air always has that electrical charge after one of these. I probably will be asleep when the storm has passed, though.

Time to shut off the power on the PC!

G'Night!

What to say... um, um, um, um, um, blah!

Hello bloggers!

I'm starting this blog as part of a requirement for a Tai Chi class I'm taking at school. The teacher wants us all to journal about inspirational, motivational, life-giving moments from our day... every day... so, she said some people write on paper and others have found success in blogging. I'll be more "green" and use the PC since it's more accessible anyways and I never have a scrap paper around when I am "inspired", but since I'm on the PC so much chances are the inspirational moments will coincide with those web surfing moments.

I guess I should start my first Tai Chi entry instead of procrastinating:


Day #1:
I am moved by the wonderful way God works in my life to keep me physically healthy. What I notice is that when I pay mindful attention to my "bodyspace", I experience a connectedness to healing. I guess it sounds mystical to say it that way, and saying things in a mystical way can be consuming, so I'll put it in a more direct manner hopefully without taking away the awe that comes from it. When I sense where my own body ends and the world begins, I realize that I am not encased in flesh and shut off from the universe, but that I am PART of the universe. This awareness tends to occur more when I am dancing or doing Tai Chi (what I noticed in the first class), and I sense it less when I am just walking around. A goal would be to sense that ever-present connection all the time. Wow, I'd like to be able to sense it when I am in a lucid dream too... that'd be wild! Hmmm, okay, so that wasn't much less mystical after all, I guess.

See you tomorrow...